6 Nov 2014

BLOG TOUR & REVIEW: The Morbid and Sultry Tales of Genevieve Clare by J.B. Hartnett


My name is Genevieve Clare, professional mourner, destined to spend my days donning a black suit and throwing myself on top of caskets for money. Sometimes I mixed it up and threw myself on top of a willing warm body instead. Finding the right warm body though, that was a different story.

Genevieve Clare is a woman who has experienced loss, struggled with grief and pushed away the one man she has ever truly loved. In this tale, both morbid and sultry, Genevieve tries to find her way back to normal... as normal as she can be.

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I approached Bryce Oskin, with caution, and when I reached his side, he demanded, “Who the fuck are you?”

Charm and disarm. Charm and disarm.

“I’m Genevieve Clare, Mr. Oskin,” I said with a grin. “I believe you hired me to come to your funeral? Mind if I join you?” I brought my own bag of goodies and opened a white baker’s box from Brewster’s.

“You some kind of spooky chick?” he asked, his eyes squinting as he studied me.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was… sweet on me already. “Kinda, yeah. If by spooky you mean I get paid to go to funerals, give people a nudge, and check for a heartbeat. Oh, and I live at Eden Hills. Then yeah, I’m spooky.” I grabbed a plastic fork and took a bite of amazing cake. It was always amazing, but today it seemed more amazing than usual.

“There,” I nodded toward the folder I’d set down on a little table to his side. “I just need you to sign on the dotted line. And the bag there is from Ruby. But I’m taking over the goody-bag duties, so tell me what you like and I’ll get it for you.” I licked my lips and did it seductively because I knew this was a man who appreciated a woman. Also known as a dirty old man. “Want a bite?”

“You gonna tell that Nazi Nurse Ratchet on me?” He jerked his head toward Cheryl.

“Are you gonna drop dead from half a slice of cake?” I countered.


“Then I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship, Mr. Oskin. I visit once a week, unless I have a funeral, usually on Tuesday or Wednesday. I always bring cake for my clients. If there’s something you don’t like, just tell me. But I usually bring a selection.”

“You do this every week?” he asked, disbelief in his voice.

“What do you mean?”

“You eat like that every week? When you see other clients?” His eyes slid up and down the length of my body.

“I have a high metabolism.” I smiled. It really was a miracle I wasn’t as big as a house. But my sweet tooth was limited to sharing with clients. I had to give myself some sort of boundaries.

He grabbed the plastic fork I’d handed him and stabbed the slice of Meyer lemon cake with vanilla bean cream cheese frosting. His eyes closed, and when they opened, he said, “God bless you.” After a few more bites, he asked, “So, you’re gonna open up my box and poke me before they burn me, right?”

“Yes, sir, I’ll make sure you’re good and dead.”

“Spooky chick.” His tone was gruff, but his lip tipped up in the corner.

I saw it with pride. Disarmament, accomplished.

Bryce Oskin had ordered the Shake N Bake. I had permission from most of the mortuaries and crematories to open the casket and check the body. I mean, you could just tell when someone was dead. By the time I had my turn with the deceased, they were most likely already embalmed. But some of them chose not to be, or if they were, they hired me to come to their place of death and make damn sure there was no chance in hell they were coming back to life.

A while back, there was a highly publicized case in Southern California. A woman had been pronounced dead and taken to the hospital morgue. But when they opened the fridge for her to be transported to the funeral home, they saw obvious signs of a struggle. She’d been put in there alive.


I’d never been afraid of death, and, after my family died and the man I loved almost had, I embraced death in my own strange way. I made it my life’s work, I guess. While it took a lot to creep me out, that story gave me the heebie-jeebies something fierce. It was all over the news. Every staff member from the hospital to the morgue was investigated then sued or fired or both. And, of course, old people sitting in the common room of a rest home from the wee a.m. hours to beddy-bye time, saw that story six times in one day, minimum. I ended up receiving so many requests to make sure they weren’t breathing, I added the Shake N Bake to my website.

My Thoughts

The synopsis for this book leaves a lot to the imagination, and I had no idea what to really expect going in to it. My assumption was that it was going to be dark and morbid and twisted and - dare I say it? Involve some necrophilia!

But no. It wasn't any of those things. OK, perhaps it was a little morbid in places, but in a light and humorous way. I'm not going to expand on the plot. I honestly feel that this story is best read going in as blind as you can.

What I got out of reading The Morbid and Sultry Tales of Genevieve Clare was this:
  • A truly unique and original story line.
  • A story line that totally captivated me and had me engrossed the whole way through.
  • A heroine and hero that were both so vivid and realistic that I dreamt about them! Honest! Genevieve and Ahren were in my dreams!
  • A bunch of extremely lovable characters - and there was a whole bunch of them! But each and every one played a crucial role in the story. 
  • Some very romantic and extremely HOT lovin' ;)
  • A story that had me smiling, and laughing, and crying.
And the most important thing:
  • It made me feel. Not only did I feel empathy and compassion for the characters, I also experienced a variety of emotions while reading this book. There's nothing better than a story where you connect to the characters so easily and deeply that you experience every single one of their emotions with them. 
I absolutely love J.B. Hartnett's writing style. With each book of her's that I have read, she has had me completely invested in the world that she has created with her words. 

If you are in the mood for a book that is romantic and has an original storyline that will make you FEEL, then make sure that you read The Morbid and Sultry Tales of Genevieve Clare. I can't recommend it highly enough! You won't be disappointed.

I received an ARC as part of the blog tour in exchange for an honest review.

My Rating

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Author Information

Julie is a Southern California native, a fan of a really good story (preferably romance with a happily ever after), really good pie (preferably pumpkin) and copious amounts of coffee (preferably Folgers).

She has always enjoyed writing and at one time thought she could be a singer songwriter...the 'writer' part is the one that stuck.

Julie is obsessed with pi...the equation(and the food). She's allergic to cats and cantaloupe and hates mushrooms...so if you ever want to give her a gift, those are out for sure. She currently lives with her own romance hero husband and two boys in Melbourne, Australia.


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